Mirror, Mirror

Growing up I was told that I never met a mirror I didn’t like. Every time I walked by a reflective surface I would stop and look at myself. Some might call that vanity, and maybe they’d be right. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to seek out a new kind of mirror.

As much as we all think we know ourselves, there are still things we may choose not to see unless someone else acts as our mirror to point them out. There’s something invaluable about having someone we trust who sees us for who we really are. When a stranger points something out to us, we may quickly become defensive. But when someone who deeply knows and loves us points something out, we ultimately allow their message to sink in.

I’m grateful to have a few mirrors in my life. My mom was often the one to point out that I loved my own reflection, but she shows me who I am more than any physical mirror ever could. She calls me on my bullshit even when I don’t want to hear it, which is probably when I need it the most. She’s honest with me about my positive and not so positive attributes because she knows that me being self aware will allow me to strive towards becoming a better version of myself.

Our family members will typically be the greatest mirrors, but sometimes advice just isn’t as easy to take when it comes from them. It’s important to take a look at our close friends to see who really cares to show us our ugly. We obviously shouldn’t surround ourselves with people who want to knock us down, but instead with people who show us a full picture of ourselves. The best friends in life will be those who know your best self and who want to support you in being that version of yourself as much as possible.

Imagine you had to go a week without looking at any sort of reflective surface. How would you know if you were having a good hair day or if you had something in your teeth? You’d either go through the entire week oblivious, or you’d rely on someone else to tell you. When you don’t have someone who can be honest with you and serve as a compass in times of need, it’s like you’re walking around with spinach in your teeth completely unaware. Other people may notice it, but they don’t say anything. And no one likes someone who doesn’t point out the spinach in your teeth.

✪ Action item: Assess who acts as a mirror in your life. Do you have a therapist, friend, sibling, roommate, or partner who reminds you of who you are? Do they let you be unapologetically yourself and help to steer you back to that true you when you venture away? Do they lift you up and remind you of your greatest traits while also gently helping you to be your best self? Find out who serves as your mirror and thank them. It’s these people who ground and love us.